sigh. everyone's so skinny and slim. all except me.
and i feel so stupid for crying over my weight issue. it's killing. sigh
i cried
i'm 53.2 kg. highest ever.
i feel like.. dying.
bad day.. i sprained my wrist.. that's not the worst thing. donny saw the message sammuir sent and got really pissed off. he didn't talk to me from dinner until we got on the bus to go home. sorted everything out. i did not message sammuir back. argh. back at his hse, we watched love actually and everything was good and fine. until pk sent me a message, 'goodnight princess'. wtf. pk you almost ruined my life. (like you can read this) baby was so pissed off. blamed me. thought it was me who instigated the whole thing. how can he accuse me of something i've never done. all my messages.. ok most of my messages are for him. none for other guys. i was furious. wanted to leave. he stopped me. hurt my wrist even worse. can't move wrist now. thank goodness on the way home wasn't that bad. but the feeling is tensed. sigh. dearie, how can i ever make you feel secure when you don't even give me the benefit of doubT? sigh. i guess the past had hurt you bad. trust me, my past was bad too. thank goodness you can't read all this cuz you don't know bout this secret blog (only yiting knows).. i guess i won't want you to read all this. sigh. for the past 3 months, things have been so good and fine. until recently.. i guess the honeymoon period is over. and that's normally the time when my relationships are over. but this time with you is different. 3 months and counting and i guess we're just starting on our real relationship. or rather, the non-honeymoon period. the time when you really know about each other and tolerate each other, accepting flaws and gores. the time when you learn imperfections are not important. as long as you love. when you love, you don't care about anything. all you want is the best for the one you love. isn't it so? i want the best for you. i always try not to hurt you. always keep my distance frm my guy friends nowadays cuz i know baby you'll feel insecure. i don't even go clubbing even though i feel like going zouk sometimes. maybe all these don't mean much, but i guess it meant alot to me. i live around my friends and i love every single one of them. but i love you even more. sorry for the minor outburst tonight. you were hurting my wrist and i couldn't take it. and all i want to do is to escape. i don't know what to say when you finally pinned me down. all i could do is to hold you in silence, hoping you'll understand. i hope you do dear.
never loved someone that much. not even him.
God in Heaven, i pray that donny and me will last forever.
amen
starhub maxonline died on me for like.. over 3 weeks?? this is horrible.. i feel so cheated. kinda.. oh well anyway.. sch has started.. and everything is kinda in a mess.. sch that is. oh well.. shitty.. embarking on year 2 was never something i anticipated. kinda sucks actually.. horrid horrid.. 1 week had gone! just like that.. oh well... the december holidays are gone! just like that too... but this holiday was like fantastic fantastic.. christmas was nice, i got the guess white bag frm don.. really wonderful.. love it to bits. yupper.. bintan trip was refreshing.. though didn't spend much time with don during the trip.. but coming back frm the trip and spending time with him was great. new year was cool toO.. 3 leaf clover played well. as usual.. haha.. oh well.. 2003.. just gone like that. so many things happened and happened. the year was generally good on the whole.. maybe not the first quarter of the year but the last quarter was just fantastic. thank God for that. totally.
attended ting kuang's bday party yesterday. talked to celine and came up with xiao hua and xiao cao.. nuts.. she's nice. hope she's not jealous anymore..
my sister is going for emirates interview.. hope she gets in and maybe next year i'll join her. yup.. dropped geog s. cuz of the hours i've to put in. it's horrendous and i barely scrape through math. kelly clarkson proved her worth in the trouble with love is.. nice song. awesome.
i'm in a shopping mood recently.. feel like shopping and shopping and shopping. i need to lose weight. i'm currently standing at 51kg. horrible..
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