yesterday
+woke up at 8.40 to go for pw and SAT course
+so sleepy
+headed for derek's house after that
+baby kelvin don't like me too much that day
+rushed home and did chores before going out and meet ys and yiting
+met them at siglap and decided to eat at plates cuz of reasons not to be explained. hahha rite yiting?
+had so much fun with them...as always..=)
met don later at his house and did his sketchings.. kinda.. had fun toO.. though i was sleepy and all...
stayed till12+ before cabbing home with sis and her friends..
now
+gonna do my powerpoint now.. yawn
later
+continue doing pw
+maybe at samanthia's house
+have to help don with his model later maybe too
all my life i thought i was jinxed.
freak, i thought i was.
weird antics and philosophical notions are my calling.
good things touch my life and then they become bad.
people come and go, but few stay true.
love was a bonus.
no one can love a freak.
can they?
life is nothing but a wrecked ship.
once beatifully crafted.
but strong gulfs killed its zest.
and let it sink, to the lowest bottom.
in the seabed it lies,
waiting to be uncovered again.
will again ever come?
maybe it will.
i don't have high hopes.
the high in life is gone.
and now, this is life.
wednesday.. mambo night
went to mambo night in the end with yingbei. we were feeling kinda stupid at first cuz there's only both of us.. but joined andy after that... =) he's nice and he bought us drinks! yupperz.. i like r&b more than retro i guess. but the retro pple they have all kinda actions. it's pretty funny seeing them doing the cute actions. haha.. spent half of the time at phuture. hahaha... yawnn.. reached home at like 3... slept at 4... woke up at 10.10 to go schooL! =Pp
tired tired..
gonna meet fluffy now.
my monitor looks bigger.
kinda.. maybe i'm looking everything in a bigger picture.
after today, i don't feel like talking to him anymore. he gives me creeps.
my perspective. sometimes so wrong. yet very true.
mom's in china... 10 days!
ok so she's in china.. enojiyng herself for 10 days and dumping all her kids and leaving them to suffer... for ten days... oh well.. gonna miss you mommy. hahah thankfully gave you a hug before school. missing you now, kinda. haha ok have fun in china..
school
went school and checked final results slip... got a neat B C D C5... pretty glad.. and thankful cuz i didn't study as much for this promos. thankfully. after papers, went for pe to mark attendance and then headed to canteen.. a binge started from there. i had cold tau huey, and carrot cake. after that me and yb took early leave form and went to siglap gelares for waffles... after which we decided to call shuhui down to join us for lunch. haha we were waiting for her at siglap's mCs then we saw sharon au and jeff wang! at mCS!! haha yingbei soo wanted to wave and say hi. ok managed to stop her. haha
when shuhui came, we couldn't decide on where to go.. so we went to cartel before deciding to have pizza. ate tons!! and gossipped tons toO. talked non stop... after pizza, we went back to gelares for more waffles. and began bitching again. non stop. it's really bad and mad and evil. haha but i guess we all had fun together. though i saw 2 tj girls whom i don't really fancy..but they didn't spoil my day. ;)
during gossip session, realised something about someone. it's so disappointing to know that someone you actually trusted would do such an odd thing. and it's so out of the blue. yikes. *shudder*
ok so i headed for tuition at dereks. ok his capacity is not that bad, thank goodness. stayed for dinner in the end... ate sooo much today. tuition started at 5.15...ended at around 7+?? but i left the place at 9.... yikess... oh well... yawn.. poor fluffy had to wait.. yikess.. both of us were so tired. went to siglap mcs and had ice cream in the end. poor baby. i think i'm becoming a siglap kid.. spending all my time there. haha
at home now... had to wash my clothes just now. for the first time in my life. sigh. haha.. jus realised i've pw evaluation to do. i've so many things in my shopping list. yikes. i can't stand it.. alrite. i've to bear with everything.
haven't talked to so many people lately...
+kieng
+liting
+yiting
+yanshan
+wen yen
+louisa
+claudia
+isabel
+mandy
+yilynn
+cheow lu
+cynthia
+sock
ok i miss these people. seriously.
yawnnnnnnnn
gonna have a hard time keeping up with my work schedule.. tuition schedule.. household chores cuz mom's going china.. and my fluffy...
so many things to do! so lil time. i can't stand all this hectic in my life.
especially when i'm fat
ok i make no sense. but i just don't like it. i prefer going for art lessons... craft.. painting.. shopping.. i need that oh gawd. haven't done that for years. yikes. i need a new life soon. ok talking bout life.. i need to start on my SAT soon. i don't want to get a freaking 1200 again. freak.
suddenly, feeling kinda paranoid now.. about everything.
i've a bad omen.
and i don't really like that feeling.
sometimes, i hate my own psychic. really.
god, please don't let anything bad happen.
please
fluffy bear and cuddle puff
we sound like the ultimate carebear match. hahhahaa.. laughters.
i didn't go for econs test today. woke up at 6.30am but continued sleeping till 7.40.. thank goodness shuhui didn't go to schoOL toO! haha. yawnn.. it's 11.14pm.. gonna give tuition at 1 pm at dereks. mom's gonna be soooo angry with me. again. yawns.
busy day...
+school
+ms j
+spent my whole afternoon with yingbei
+yingbei, clement and shuhui..
+tj open house
+met don and had lunch at Mcs
+went ikea with him to walk around
+had dinner at subway suntec
+saw douglas there
+it was pretty awkward
+headed to derek's house for tuition
+stayed till 12am
+mom scolded me and told me about the weirdo loitering downstairs
+now blogging and talking to don
+drew's really sweet
tmr
+school at 7.30
+econs test and quiz
+tuition at 1pm
+maybe joining mommy for her winter clothing shopping trip
+jules' birthday, think i'll sing him a birthday song
happy 18th birthday jules.
fluffy bear, cuddle puff,
together,
forever
results
results were pretty neat and satisfying.. passed everything. including gp. totally cool i feel. =)
went for job interview at spaggedies today. gonna start working when school closes. don's pretty supportive about the whole thing. he's not going to melbourne now.. not too sure if he made the right choice but i guess i'll support his decision no matter wut... poor baby really hates architecture now i guess.. hope that he finds wut he really want to do in life soon. *hugsss*
so sleepy.. hadn't had a good night since dunno when.
think i'll go sleep now. yawn..
tmr will be fun... i guess... gonna finish watching monsoon wedding.. and gonna catch a movie with fluffy bear.
my songs...
songs which make me cry
our lady peace - somewhere out there
lisa loeb - stay
jay chow - kai bu liao kou
goo goo dolls - iris
blur - you're so great
faith hill - let me let go
save ferris - little differences
destiny's child - emotions
josh groban - broken vow
charlotte church - the prayer
nina simone and james iha - said sadly
angela ammons - when it doesn't matter
frente - bizarre love triangle
mandy moore and jonathan foreman - someday we'll know
the marmalade - reflections of my life
lea salonga - on my own
michelle branch - goodbye to you
rilo kiley - papillon
whitney houston - run to you
third eye blind - blinded
whitney houston - i have nothing
sheryl crow with stevie nicks - if you ever did believe
songs which make me wanna get married
fifth dimension - wedding bells blue
my best friend's wedding - i say a lil prayer
adamn sandler - grow old with you
she daisy - mine oh mine
lauren woods - fallen
frankie vallie - can't get my eyes off of you
six pence none the richer - kiss me
smashing pumpkin - perfect
the girl from ipanema
letters to cleo - i want you to want me
temptations - sugar pie honey bunch
wannadies - you and me song
nat king cole - l-o-v-e
songs which make me want to run to the end of world and in delirium
lifehouse - spin
goo goo dolls - you never know
ash - a life less ordinary
all stars united - if we were lovers
sky - love song
letters to cleo - happy ever after
oasis - wonderwall
big runga - sway
five for fighting - something about you
centerstage soundtrack - we're dancing
songs which make me smile
lisa ono - you're the sunshine of my life
sugar ray - someday
LFO - summergirls
dixie chicks - you can't hurry love
josh groban - you're still you
the flying machine - smile a lil smile for me
the beegees - run to me
billie myers - it all comes down to you
the beatles - in my life
pink martini - je ne veux pas travailler
beyonce - crazy in love
beyonce - fighting temptation
songs which make me think about my life
dawson's creek soundtrack - life's a bitch
don mclean - vincent
cranberries - ode to my family
green day - time of your life
oasis - don't look back in anger
our song: the calling - stigmatized
Stigmatized
If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will we ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you
[Chorus:]
Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as i am
And live our lives, stigmatized
I can feel the blood rushing through my veins
When i hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that i sit and pray
[Chorus]
We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized
We'll live our lives, We'll take the punches everyday
We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way
I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I believe in you, and i don't really give a damn
If we're stigmatized
We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides
We gotta live our lives
Gotta live our lives
Were gonna live our lives
We're gonna live our lives, Gonna live our lives,
Stigmatized
i'm gonna spend the rest of my life,
with you
ookk.. Friday
here i go:
friday morning started out with a big bang as i rushed out of house trying to catch a bus to go sch. indeed, the bus driver did not wait for me and i was late for school. today's the last day of school for the yr 2s. yea yea yea..
first in school is sickening pw lecture. minds ur Ps and Qs during oral presentation. was soo sleepy throughout the entire thing. yingbei kept me occupied with her abused story. hilarious.
after pw lecture, we were actually supposed to head to class for pw! but instead, me, al and yb walked around the school, and even walked around the track before being seen by sheila.. she called us back, saying chang was already there. we got a big scolding of cuz. haha funny funny...
so we've pw till 4.40. can you believe it? 4.40. goodness.. so we heaeded to the second level hub and guess wut we saw???? the yellow adidas bag!!! yES! vincent's bag! hahha yingbei was overwhelmed! hahaha
so we sat pretty close but not so close to him. hahahah she was turning red when he finally made his grand entrance!! =Pp
ok so pw was boring. haha but had fun joking and talking to yb, al and don!
at 2pm, i was already worn out by all the typing. so we decided to call mrs chang and told her we can't do anything much as our pw file is at sam's home!! so before we left the second level hub, we made fun of mrs thelma.. it was pretty mean but i thought it was really hilarious.
went to meet don at gelares, then he told me about andrew. that really got me thinking and set my mood for the day.. we then took a bus down to city hall and i went to meet my jan, louisa, wenyen and liting.. we were celebrating louisa's birthday..
we went around walking first.. it was fun to be out with them again! we've not gone out in a group for like.. at least 9 mths???!! bought louisa a fcuk shirt. it looks really nice on her.. yeapp.. went to suntec to meet the guys... before we headed to millenia walk.. just as then! zaf called me and told me the first bad news of the day.
"yiwen, you know what happened? sam can't find the file at home. i thnk we just lost our project work file."-zaf "oh freak, what happened?? how come?? ok don't panick, we'll find it soon"-yiwen
gosh. imagine all our hard work are gone?? sigh..
at feather fin, kenneth showed me the slides he did for 32/02. it was really nice. very touching.. all the times we had in class. i kinda miss it actually. i'm glad to know all these people... even though none of the photos include me..neither did the guys did anything for mE.. i felt a bit left out.. in 32/02. i'm the history, you siang's the history, lianah's history too... ok then came the 2nd bad news.. i got alison's message, tan said the class did damn badly for math, but noted that sheila and clem did well. shit i was bangin on math so did i, al ok.. studies are gone..
well told don and love his comforting tone. thank you.
feather fin dinner was good. very filling. and we took tons of photos toO! haha.. had fun laughing and all. time was sooo well spent. =) after fin, we walked to esplanade and took more photos. stupid timothy made me pose in a awkward position for like 5 whole minuteS!! it was damn painful.. jus like the iron chair exercise.
later, they decided to go for drinks.. but i didn't want to, neither did liting nor wenyen, so we headed hoME! on the way to the bus stop, my two dearest friend started their usual scrutinising session. topic of the day was don. alrite. told em all they wanted to know... and after we got on the bus, me n liting kinda talked more. but after she left, the third bad news came in.
andrew's disapprove. of us, i think..so the entire bus ride i was thinking about it.. and did not know what exactly was i feeling.. until i talked to kieng when i got home, i finally know what was the root of everything.
i don't want to spoil drew's and don's friendship. if i'm with don, then drew doesn't really like it, then their friendship will be strained. or somehow. i dunno why i was so affected by drew's comments too. maybe cuz i know don is affected and i'm affected in some way cuz drew's my good friend too. i guess i don't want to hurt don in any way, or rather, hurt their friendship in any way.. i'm gonna feel damn guilty if anything happens.. last night was tough. i kept thinking. if i shld continue everything with don. i nearly cried. why was i feeling like this? i remember i'll only feel like this for leo.. last time.. i can't believe this feeling is in me again. i never felt like this with doug and jeremy.
don called, i didn't want to pick up cuz i don;t know what to say to him.. bout wut i'm thinking and all. thank god kieng gave me the courage. kinda.. and yiting too.
when i finally talked to him, i realised i was wrong about everything. andrew just feel that we're progressing too fast and don jus got out of a relationship not long ago. drew's unsure if don's really sure about everything and me. actually i wonder too. but he claims he knows what he's doing.. that assured me somehow. we talked.. everything was comforting. yeapp.. i guess the third bad thing didn't turn out tt bad afterall. but i still have some doubts. i guess. sigh..
thinking back, i think..
i like you.
tonight, i'm gonna have dinner with don and drew. need to pass him back the SAT stuff anyway.. dunno if i shld even go. yikes.
i think i'm going for a swim with kieng after tuition.
ok nicholas called in the end... on thursday at like 11++pm when i was still chatting with mrs wong. yupperz. so i'm going to take up the job. wonder if i've time for it. yikes..
ok so friday was yesterday and the day wasn't all that well but it was not bad either.. i need to spill it out. it's a day too much for me to keep everything inside..
let's start with thursday night..
I was walking to derek's house for tuition, after which i got a call from kieng, asking me bout don and i, den i said it depends on the thursday night itself. jus as kieng called me, douglas messaged her, asking if i'm attached. ok. then kieng told him it depends on that night. i reached derek's house. so tuition started, then stupid douglas messaged me some weird message. so are you out with a hot guy? i was like. wut's with you douglas wong. i replied, he said something back too. and it all revolves around the hot guy i'm supposed to be out with tonight. crapz.. when i reached home, i let him on a bit.. before my last message(i'm not ready to tell you or anyone much about anything just as yet) you know wut he replied?? (ok tell me next time and i've something to tell you too. it's a trade). FREAK. what the heellllll does he want to tell me? and keeping me in deep suspense. i shall not be bothered by it i guess.
indeed, nick that retard, did not call, neither did he message, neither did he bother to do anything to explain last night. shit head. ok i think he took it quite bad.. maybe. one friendship gone just like tt?!!! all the movies, all the funny things, u're one biG idiot!
i can't believe you nick seng! you dick head!!! biggest time ever!!
aarrggghhhhhh AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
your song dickhead.
Don't stray
Don't ever go away
I should be much to smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes
When you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you
Pull me out in time
Don't let me drown
Let me down
I say its all because of you
And here I go
Losing my control
I'm practicing your name
So I can say it to your face
It doesn't seem right
To look you in the eye
And let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed its time
Tell you why
I say its infinately true
Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you
And there's no cure
And no way to be sure
Why everythings turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired
I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now
It all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon
Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you
Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you
Its all because of you
Its all because of you
Now
It all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon
Its time
Tell you why
I say its infinately true
Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you
Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you
Its all because of you
Its all because of you
Its all because of you
the day started out fine.. and for the first time i'm not driven mad by the rain. went to vanessa's for tuition, this kid really rocks...we had a hard time spelling eagles. met don after that, he managed to find vanessa's unit somehow. we wanted to watch a movie in town, but missed the bus. we ended up at marina sq.. on the ride there, don surprised me with 3 evita peroni hairbands, pink, purple and white! i've been finding these bands for a looooooong time. remembered going to isetan few days back but couldn't find any single thin hairband which i used to buy. i remembered i've a number.. 2 purple(which i lost), 1 green(which zx broke), an orange and a white(both which i broke) and the remaining blue one. so when he passed me the 3 diferent colour hairbands, i was really surprised. but toucheD!! thanks!! really appreciate tt. the hairbands are not cheap.. i feel pretty bad after he paid for movie, italian job, so i treated him to marches. dinner was good. hadn't had rosti for a loong time.
italian job was cool.. the mini coopers. haha were va va vooM!! wished i could own one.. was feeling kinda tired already. i guess don was tired toO.. we walked around city link for a while.. wanted to get mom some winter stuff before she leaves for china, but couldn't find any. we headed home after that..
ok now things are quite sucky. nick was talking to me well and fine and all, about the interview for jobs, blah blah, but when he started on the topic of him being my bf or rather, he is my bf, i was shocked. when i said when the hell did we even start, he was acting weird and started giving me cold shoulders.. shit head. always doing this kinda thing to me. we will always be good friends! hope he's not angry or something.. i dunno. sigh. wonder if he'll still call me up for the job interview tmr. yikes, it's 2.38 now and i still can't sleep.
today's been a good day.. i feel. the feelings were good. the movie was good, though i just simply can't concentrate halfway through the show.
thank God for everything that happened tonight and things which did not happen tonight.. and God, i think i know what will come next. the same thing will happen again. and i'll have to make another decision again.
going for vanessa's tuition now..
and later for a date! *gleams
i love being an angel. =)
exams are finally finally over
but i don't feel the joy. just as yet.
i've to tuition.. i've to study for SATS, i've to save money for french or german lessons, i've to save money for diving, i've to find work.. maybe.
i've to lose weight
but still, i'm glad exams are over, i can do roughly anything i want to now. except i've pw. last stretch. i can.
international boyfriend/husband benchmark
5'8” and taller
Dark brown hair with brown eyes/blue eyes
Handsome
Muscular
Weight depending on height – not skinny, not fat
Good sense of humor
Dimples
Cute laugh
Sensitive
*Affectionate* in front of friends
Gives me lots of attention
Outgoing
Popular but doesn't know the whole state
Friends with my friends
Nice smile
Straight teeth
No facial or body hair (except legs n under arms)
Pierced ear(s) if any
Not too many tattoos if any
Likes to cuddle
Likes to party
Takes me out
Grabs my hand to hold
Kisses me unexpectedly
Dresses nice (*ABERCROMBIE*) hehe
Has a good job
Tells me he misses me when we're not together
Makes me laugh
Open minded
Polite
Holds doors for me
Opens car doors
*Romantic*
Likes all type of music
Likes going to the movies
Talks to his friends about me
Looks into my eyes when just laying there on the bed
Gives massages without me having to ask
Plays with my hair
Calls me to just say hi
Tries not to argue
Apologizes for when he does wrong
Says what he's feeling
Has a car
Has a dog
Has a family that likes me
Compliments me
Is tan
Doesn't curse all the time
Wants to be with me as much as possible
Comes over unexpectedly
Wakes me up with a kiss
Same age or 3 years at the most older than me
*Trustworthy*
Patient
Likes to shop
Has good manners
Doesn't smoke
Occasionally drinks
Athletic
Is on time for dates
Calls back later when he says he will
Lives close to me
Wants to meet my family
Treats me like a princess
Has a cute butt
Good kissable lips
Good kisser
Good memory
Does special things for holidays/birthdays/anniversary/etc
Intelligent
Has direction
Creative
Likes everything about me
Committed
*My best friend*
Respectful
Mature
Persistent – Hard working
Likes walks on the beach
Likes just staying home sometimes
Writes me songs/poems
Likes to dance
Has a sexy voice
Cooks for me
Likes to show me off
Calls me or introduces me as his "girlfriend" not "Rachel"
Likes to take pictures
Flirts with me in public and in private
Puts up with my mood swings
Comforts me when I'm sad
Doesn't say “sorry” all the time when it's not needed
Sticks up for me
Likes animals
Sends me flowers for no reason
Ignores my imperfections
Surprises me (good surprises)
Doesn't ever yell at me
Likes picnics
Likes to clean
First to say I Love You
Listens to me
Smells good
*Doesn't lie*
Likes kids
Makes me the center of his world
Not in trouble with the law
Isn't a goody-goody
Doesn't stare at other girls
Doesn't talk to other girls more than me
Doodles our names on paper
Likes to draw
Leaves notes on my car
Let's me go out with him and his friends
Will hang out with me and my friends
Puts pictures of me in his car and wallet
Gets jealous but not too jealous
Dependable
Doesn't hang up on me
Calls me babe, sweetie, etc
Calls me cute pet names
Isn't conceited
Isn't a penny-pincher
Likes sports and going to sports events
Likes to play board games/video games and lets me win
Doesn't play mind games
Doesn't just think about sex
Cares about world issues
Doesn't make me cry
Leaves sweet voicemails/text messages on my phone
Isn't shy
Has hopes, dreams, and wishes
Not opinionated
Will watch chick flicks even if he doesn't like them
Can spell
i love tk
nora won ford supermodels contest
i love hanging out with kieng and val.................... miss tk sooooo much.
three of us studied at gelares today. i tried to study but to no no no no avail.
binged again! had gelares LARGE waffles, ALL BY MYSELF!! val refused to share with me!! after studying, we headed down to secret recipes, oh gawd. love the cakes there. haha hope wed will be all about eating cakes. =)
highlights of the week:
wednesday
+ys gave me famous amos cookies, good luck present for promos!
+don treated me to pizza
+he made me blushed. *pink*
+zx replied some message to darren. made me sooo embarrassed
Thursday
+math was a killer
+geog was fine
Friday
+gp was nothing but agriculture
+tuition was cute
+lil vanessa was chased by cockroach when she was 5.. lol
+her mom gave me kuehs.
+poor brian had to carry the ugly bag
+headache
+treated him to crystal jade
+bussed home and had fun hearing him talk to emily..it was hilarious
+told don about my simplistic 'equity in the world' thesis. (i think he was damn bored)
Saturday
+finished market structure
+had KFC dinner, total sin
+very tired now.
+gonna watch tv
To love is to share life together
to build special plans just for two
To work side by side
and then smile with pride
As one by one, dreams all come true.
To love is to help and encourage
with smiles and sincere words of praise
To take time to share
to listen and care
In tender, affectionate ways.
To love is to have someone special
one who you can always depend
To be there through the years
sharing laughter and tears
As a partner, a lover, a friend.
To love is to make special memories
of moments you love to recall
Of all the good things
that sharing life brings
Love is the greatest of all.
I've learned the full meaning
of sharing and caring
and having my dreams all come true;
I've learned the full meaning
of being in love
by being and loving with you.
- Kellie Spehn -
MATH WAS A BITCH
i can hardly do any questions.
any
i'm so hell screwed. what if i don't pass it again? f*ck.
sigh. nothing will lift me up today. nothing of yesterday(i'll elaborate) will make me happy today.
i'm gonna fail gp.
i'm gonna fail math.
i'm so tired. everything's a whizz.
i need rest.
but i need to head down to art. (last lesson)
*tears*
everything good is going to end.
-the year with 31/03
-the thought of me passing promos with somehow flying colours
-the fantastic yesterday
-the fabulous 18th year.
everything
you and i won't change a thing.
design (c) maystar designs image (c) maystar designs